D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Well, folks, it's official. There's a little country diddy about this by the late great Tammy Wynette and it goes a li'l somethin' like this. And obviously it's not Stand By Your Man, although I'd pay good money to see Kate Gosselin in that get-up Tammy's wearing.

So in the first confessional featuring Jon you can't help but notice a silver stud in each ear. Don't you just get the feeling Jon wanted both ears pierced for a LONG TIME but Kate said no way in hell and so the minute they officially separated and he was no longer afraid she'd castrate him in his sleep he finally did it? I mean, if she could have that hair couldn't he have a signature "look" too? I bet Jon turns progressively more rebellious until he looks something like this by next season. If there is a next season.

Regardless, what strikes me as ironic is these two people are finally attractive comparatively speaking and won't touch each other and yet they were willing to have sex when they looked like the type of person who would actually have dinner at Denny's. (Breakfast and late-night drunken binges at Denny's are -- and I hope this goes without saying -- quite acceptable.)

But in Kate's defense (stay with me here, people) perhaps she is just normal overbearing for a mother except hers is multiplied by eight. I mean, I have two kids and am probably one-quarter as bitchy to my husband as Kate is to Jon. So, if you do the math, relatively speaking I AM KATE GOSSELIN. Perhaps we ALL are Kate Gosselin. (I should have been born in the Plato era and been one of those philosopher types... except I don't know if there was reality tv back then so where would I have concentrated my deep thoughts?)

And let's keep this focused on me where it always should be: What the hell am I supposed to do all summer? Reports are saying the show is going on "hiatus" and the next all-new episode won't air until August. I gave up on Kendra (see you in hell, bitch) and now this. I may take up knitting. Or more likely crack. Or maybe I'll find out where Jon and his earrings plan to party and stalk him so I have really good scoop when the show resumes in six weeks.

So besides the "big news" the show last night was one big informercial for these crooked playhouses for kids which the Gosselins got (for free) in the hope a bunch of dumb asses buy ones that are not for free. (It worked -- this dumb ass wants one.)

That's it, people. There is only so much you can say about 45 minutes of eight kids playing nicely and 15 minutes of two adults not playing nicely. I think Jon said it best when he noted he is only 32 years old and has his whole life in front of him. Why put up with that crap from a woman whose voice makes you want to dig out your own eardrums with a screwdriver when he can go galavanting off to Utah with a younger chick and get his entire body pierced if he so chooses? I just hope this doesn't start a grass roots uprising among berated men everywhere ...